Thank God for Jerry Jones

As I enjoy the two weeks leading up to the Sunday Night Football battle between our Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys, one thought came to mind: THANK GOD FOR JERRY JONES.

We all love to hate a good heel. Darth Vader. Joker. Vince McMahon. Chris Christie. Putin. Lavar Ball. Skip Bayless. They all hold a special place in our hearts that evokes passionate feelings of hate and loathing. God, we despise them and that makes cheering for their demise so damn enjoyable.

That’s why this guy is exactly what we need in the NFL.

Look at that face. Don’t you just hate it? The evil Cryptkeeper. To make him more vile, he hangs with other heels and shoves it in your face.

Imagine this Dallas Cowboys team without him. Imagine the Rooney Family owning the Cowboys. We’d be left to summons up hate for Dez, Dak, Zeke, and Jason Garrett.

Dez is what he is. He’s on the downside of his career and never reached the arrogance level of Michael Irvin, Deion, or T.O. He’s like a hateable Cowboy light.

Dak is the personality equivalent of spaghetti. You don’t love it like a good rigatoni or linguine, but you don’t hate it like a bland penne. He’s fine.

Zeke is a JO, but, unfortunately, if feels like there’s nothing super JO-ish about him in this current state of the NFL. If you’re gonna hate a team for one of their players allegedly committing crimes, you’re gonna hate half the NFL. And, he’s not playing this week. Hard to rile up the hate when dude isn’t even gonna be in the building.

Jason Garrett looks like a twelve-year-old. You can’t be hating on kids. They don’t know what they’re doing and neither does he. He usually just rides the coattails of a solid defensive coordinator.

That brings us to Jerruh. He’s the creepy used-car salesman you can’t shake. He boldly obnoxious. He had to have the largest in-stadium video display screen in the world. He’s an egomaniac who instilled himself as the teams General Manger. He had to have the NFL draft in Dallas, even though Philly was the greatest Draft event in NFL history. He supported Roger Goodell, while he viciously went after Tom Brady and the Patriots over a slightly deflated football, but threatens Goodell’s compensation and job when he suspends Zeke Elliott for allegedly assaulting a woman.

Total douche.

When you sit down with your friends on Sunday night to watch the game, take a moment and give thanks. Thank the football gods or whatever god you believe in for putting the vile Dallas Cowboys in the hands of total slime-ball. Take stock of the ill-feelings you get every time NBC shows him sitting in his owner’s box.

It’s gonna feel so good to embarrass him in his own house.

Oh, and did you know he likes glory holes?

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Todd Gurley Rockin’ Phillies Gear

TMZ has a story about Rams running back Todd Gurley at a post-victory party last night with a “smokin’ hot girl.” The real story though is that Todd Gurley is sporting a Phillies lid.

The Phillies? The Sixers would be way more understandable. He’s from Baltimore and they haven’t had a team since the 1950’s. The Sixers are one of the younger more exciting teams in the NBA with Embiid and Simmons.

The Phillies? Maybe it’s his NL squad. I know plenty of Philadelphia folks with a fondness for the Orioles. Maybe it’s vice versa. Or, maybe it just went with the outfit that night.

Either way, well done Mr. Gurley.

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Howie: Say My Name.

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South Philly Target Still Makes No Sense

You may recall a couple months ago where we documented the South Philly Target store stocking on up Oregon State Beaver merchandise. We returned this past weekend to that same store and guess what? That Oregon State Beaver merch is still there. Hard to believe people in Philadelphia, PA didn’t buy that shit up.

However, there is a recent development at the South Philly Target with regards to collegiate gear. They’ve added a bunch more in the way of shirts and schools.

As anyone would expect with this store, they have a rack of Oklahoma Sooners gear. WTF?! WHY ARE THERE OKLAHOMA SOONERS shirts here? I mean, North Dakota State gear would make sense with Carson Wentz, but Sooners??

That would be weird enough, but this is the store that keeps on giving.

The Philadelphia Eagles are currently 8-1 and by all accounts the best team in the NFC, if not the entire NFL. So, why wouldn’t South Philly Target start to bring in Steelers AND PENGUINS gear.

I spent four college years about 45 minutes northeast of Pittsburgh and spent a good many weekends in Pittsburgh. It’s safe to say I never saw an Oregon State or Oklahoma gear and I damn sure never saw ANY PHILADELPHIA TEAMS.

We may have to get an exclusive with the buyer here to try and make sense of this, though the Pittsburgh stuff just makes no sense. That’s a TOTAL VIOLATION. Make those Steelers and Penguins fans order that shit and wait for Lazer Ship to screw up their Amazon deliveries.

Posted in Around Jawnville, Eagles | Comments Off on South Philly Target Still Makes No Sense

Howie Roseman Has Gone Psycho

Howie Roseman has gone Psycho on the NFL and Eagles fans have to love it. The NFL may want to test Rosemen for PED’s because he’s just crushing the competition.

I’m sorry I ever doubted Howie Roseman 2.0. The first go around was tough, but now, with Joe Douglas by his side, he’s resurrected better, stronger, smarter, and more aggressive than ever and there’s nothing not to like. 2.0 is just shredding through the league making shrewd trades and off-season signings and everything is coming up Howie!

On this glorious Halloween, Howie Roseman added Jay Ajayi for a stinkin’ 4th round pick from the Miami Dolphins. That’s not like trading with the Patriots where you have to worry about getting fleeced. This is the Miami Dolphins. The team Howie himself fleeced when he traded Kiko Alonso and Byron Maxwell (who was released last week) for the 8 overall pick a couple years ago, which he then flipped for the pick that landed Carson Wentz.

At 7-1 and the odds on favorite to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl Howie Roseman is moving all in. While Philadelphia fans have been sitting patiently waiting for the processes of the Sixers, Flyers, and Phillies to play out, Howie Roseman has turned around the Eagles in two years—2 FRIGGIN YEARS—and is stopping at nothing from getting to Minneapolis in a smart way.

Ajayi is better than any RB on the Eagles in every facet of the game. He’s a talented three-down back who is young, talented and cheap. He’s only due $1.7M over the next two years. Miami didn’t trade Ajayi because his skills have diminished. He was traded, as reported by the Miami Herald, for being a problem in the locker room and not buying into Adam Gase. Can you blame him for that?

Ajayi is still a good player and behind a good offensive line, he’ll do good work. The reason Ajayi was traded has to do with team culture and locker room chemistry and player buy-in. (Miami Herald)

It’s not even noon yet. Be sure that Howie and Joe Douglas are still out there trick or treating trying to steal some more treats from other NFL teams. GMs Beware!

Miami Dolphins fans feel like they got tricked and they’re probably right. It’s good to be on the treat side of these things. THANKS HOWIE! Happy Howieween!

To make your Halloween better, check out some of the comments by Dolphins fans on the Miami Herald’s site:

David Dain · If I was Ajayi, I’d be pretty bummed that all I was worth was a lousy 4th round pick. It’s a shame they had to move him for so little, since there are so many teams out there that could use a young, talented running back.
Ken Lawrence · WTF – 4th rounder for a pro bowl running back who is only 24 years old – are Gase and the entire front office clueless or on coke like their OL coach – 4th rounder for him is embarrassing – what a joke the Dolphins are turning out to be. Let’s trade Landry for a 3rd rounder and a bag of peanuts!
Shane Le Gresley – This is insanity unless it is the start of a complete rebuild, that means almost everyone goes. Now we have zero running game so this season is a throw away.

Jay Pao – This really reinforces how much sh-t this franchise sits in. It can’t pull itself out under Ross’ ownership…But to let go 2 of your top offensive weapons screams out that this young head coach is in over his head as well.


I love Wentz and I love Ajayi. I am really ready to move my focus and loyalties to Philly. They seem to have a plan that is working.
Graciela Celaya Lleonart – Sorry to see Ajayi go, he can run the ball behind a good offensive line and I think he will do so in Philadelphia.
Scott FrommasIf your 2 best offensive players don’t buy into the system, then the problem is the system.
Marcus Estes · Our offense is struggling so we get rid of 1 of our best offensive players? This dumb move had better get us someplace quick Gase or the city will turn against you next.
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Fultz being evaluated by 76ers top shoulder docs.

Fultz being evaluated by 76ers top shoulder docs.

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Fultz Shoulder Chaos

Fultz’s agent tells ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski’s that Fultz had fluid drained from his shoulder. Whaaaat? Who had fluid drained from their shoulder? Water on the shoulder?

“Markelle had a shoulder injury and fluid drained out of the back of his shoulder,” agent Raymond Brothers told ESPN.

 

Then, the agent clarifies that Fultz had a cortisone shot.

“He had a cortisone shot on Oct. 5, which means fluid was put into his shoulder — not taken out,” agent Raymond Brothers told ESPN on Tuesday night. “

Now, the Sixers have released a medical updates saying Fultz will miss the next 3 games and have his shoulder re-evaluated on Tuesday.

In all this insanity, only one image comes to mind.

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Fire at Foy’s

Woke up this morning to the sad news that Headhouse Square, South Street staple Bridget Foy’s suffered a massive fire overnight. The Foy family have always been active in the South Street community and employ some great people. Hopefully, they can rebuild and reopen. Foy’s has been on the corner of 2nd and South Street for 40 years.

Even sadder is news that two rescue dogs up for adoption at the Doggie Style next door passed due to smoke inhalation.

Here are some images from the morning after:

Posted in Around Jawnville, Day in Jawnville, Events | Comments Off on Fire at Foy’s

BONEHEAD VIOLATION of the Day

Walking on South Street for lunch today and witnessed the biggest bonehead Violation of the Day. Cars were backed up for two blocks. Horns were honking. This truck was delivering to an eyeglass shop and decided to block South Street, which is also a bus lane, to make the delivery.

Delivering in center city and South Street is a nightmare. I empathize with delivery guys trying to find a space to park their vehicles while making their deliveries. But, not this guy.

 

A. He could’ve moved his truck about 3 feet to the left so cars could’ve gotten by.

B. He could’ve moved up 5 feet so the cars behind him could swing around.

C. There’s an entire half block out front of Jim’s Steaks where this guy could’ve pulled into and allowed traffic to get by.

This guy is the clear winner of Violation of the Day. Absolutely need to hold up a dozen or so vehicles to make his delivery.

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Too Soon?

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